If you've come to our site because you're concerned about your child, then we hope the information provided will be helpful to you. There's much to be explored and learned through the links provided in our Resource section.

It's also important to keep in mind that our book, Facing Bipolar: The Young Adult's Guide to Dealing with Bipolar Disorder, is really meant for the late adolescent/youg adult somewhere between the ages of 16 and 26. If your concerns are focused more upon childhood bipolar disorder, then our site isn't the best choice for you. You should probably begin with organizational sites such as The Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation or the National Institute for Mental Health's booklet — "Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens" 

If you're relatively new to the bipolar landscape and still uncertain about what's going on, then it can be a very distressing time. There aren't many things that will cause a parent to feel more helpless than knowing there's something "not right" with your child but also not knowing what specifically may be wrong. Undiagnosed bipolar disorder certainly can create that quandary.

What can you expect?

Now, let's adjust this picture and imagine you know precisely what's wrong. Your son or daughter has bipolar disorder. You've been told this by professionals you trust and respect. And as a result of their input you may even know what's medically necessary to begin to stabilize your child's moods and behaviors. But because your child is at an age where parental or professional advice may not be welcome, your child will be inclined to do what he or she wants, regardless of your input. Such is the dilemma faced by many parents of bipolar adolescents and young adults.

We're not implying that all bipolar adolescents and young adults are rejecting of parental influence and noncompliant with treatment. There are those who recognize that parents and professionals do have good judgment. They listen. They take in what you have to say and give it serious consideration. They've developed a fair amount of maturity at an early age. They're fortunate and so are you.

On average, it's more common to find that late adolescence and young adulthood is characterized by self-definition, pushing away and a rejection of parental advice -- like the terrible 2s, only more prolonged and with less control available to parents. Often, you're left on the sidelines no longer occupying your role as head coach. You can observe and cheer them on; but it's your child who's really in the game.

The dilemma posed by the interface of late adolescence, young adulthood and bipolar disorder is that the lifestyle norms during this period tend to be incongruous with the lifestyle requirements of bipolar disorder. When you think of things such as the high stresses of academics and social life, inadequate sleep or highly variable sleep patterns, alcohol and substance use as well as difficulties accepting one's vulnerabilities, these can all become major impediments which interfere with the establishment of emotional stability.

And so you may find that your son or daughter doesn't want to know that they're bipolar. They don't want to be different than others. They don't want to take medication, they don't want to need it and they certainly don't want others to know that they need it. They also don't want to relinquish the experience of doing what most of their friends are doing, whatever that may be. Like we said, your child probably doesn't want anything to do with bipolar disorder.

So, now what?

One very important message that we convey through our book is that the more successful one is at managing bipolar disorder early on, the more positive the long term prognosis will be. Conversely, when one doesn't make the adjustments required for successful management of the disorder, then the longer-term prognosis becomes more guarded. Essentially, if your child's response mode entails denial, disregard and resistance to receiving help, this will create more problems.

This places you, the parent of a bipolar child, in a real bind. You may fully appreciate the long-term consequences of adolescent disregard. And as a consequence you may feel a strong sense of urgency to have your son or daughter "do what's medically indicated." On the other hand, you're faced with the limits of your own influence as well as the possibility that trying to impose control may only lead to stronger reactivity where your son or daughter pushes away with even greater force.

We wish we had an easy answer. There aren't many when it comes to bipolar disorder. If there were, it would lie somewhere between being magnificently patient while also being a good educator. You can provide your son or daughter with relevant, balanced and easily digestible information about bipolar disorder. You can assist him or her in knowing what resources are available for receiving help when needed. You can reassure that you're there to love and accept, even when your son or daughter seems more invested in pushing away than receiving your help. You probably know the well-worn phrase about "leading a horse to water..."

In the broad scheme of things it's important to recognize that your son or daughter's life experience will be a powerful teacher. You gradually matured through trial and error learning and the same will occur with your child. The frightening aspect of this predictable sequence is that an accumulation of "errors" can have significant consequence when it comes to bipolar disorder.

If your child's bipolar instability become's acute, psychiatric hospitalization may be necessary. If this occurs, he or she will likely stabilize and begin to receive appropriate treatment. Such is not so uncommon with bipolar disorder. But we can assure you that if and when that occurs, it becomes a dramatic and enduring lesson. Most adolescents or young adults don't want a return to a hospital. Most really do want to find balanced and successful ways of living.

Bottom line is that it's important for you to work on nurturing your connection with your child. You want them to know that you're there and available to respond with help once they're ready to reach out and ask for it. We can also assure you that from what we observe through our clinical work, most eventually do.

Russ Federman, Ph.D.

J. Anderson Thomson, MD